Billy and Tommy are brothers, aged 6 and 7. Minutes ago, they had been playing cordially together with their toys. But then Billy accidentally broke one of Tommy's toys, prompting Tommy to call Billy a nasty name. The fight quickly escalated, but the boys did not physically strike each other, since they always got in trouble with Mom when they did. So now they are standing in the living room, staring at each other, fire blazing in their eyes.
Mom is talking on the phone with a friend of hers on the couch. She keeps an eye on her sons, but is simply carrying on with her conversation. The boys periodically glance back at her, each hoping that she will intervene and side with him. They take turns mouthing nasty names at each other.
Tommy calls Billy an especially nasty name. Suddenly, Billy gets so frustrated that he cannot stop himself. He slaps his brother across the arm. Tommy immediately points to his brother, looks at Mom, and says to her, "See!? See!? He hit me first!"
Mom does not intervene yet. So Tommy hits Billy back. The two continue hitting each other until Mom says to the person on the other line that she'll have to call them back. Mom intervenes and physically separates the two boys. She punishes both. "But he started it! He hit me first!" protests Tommy.
* * *
Two opposing groups, white supremacists and Antifa, are both in a park, hurling insults at each other, fire blazing in their eyes.
The police are standing along the edge of the park. They keep an eye on the protestors, but are simply doing their job to maintain order. The protestors periodically glance back at them, each side hoping that the police will intervene and side with them. The sides continue provoking each other.
Camera crews are scattered throughout the park. They keep an eye on the apparent leaders of each faction, but are simply covering the event. The protestors periodically glance back at them, each side hoping that reporters will give them a platform to broadcast their denouncement of the other side. The sides continue provoking each other.
Someone on one side says something that causes someone on the other side to punch.
In the days that follow, members and supporters of each side assert that the other side hit first, and that they were only defending themselves.
* * *
Both sides want to convey the narrative that "the other side" is the violent one--not them. So it matters who hit first, because after the first blow, all subsequent violence is apparently irrelevant. Each side wants to gain outsiders' sympathy by claiming they were the victim of the first blow. It doesn't fit their narrative if both sides are violent.
