Failures of my Youth Group--Part 2

When I was in seventh grade, my cousins from the Portland area came to visit us over a three-day weekend. This inevitably meant that they would come to church with us on Sunday morning. I didn't realize this at the time, but this was probably a bad idea to begin with for them since my aunt and uncle were atheists, and my cousins were pretty much as well. However, at the time, I was under the impression that they were Christians.

One of the cousins was about my age, so he and I went to the Junior High youth group. The meeting probably started off with some stupid game, and then we moved into the lesson. The discussion leader posed some questions throughout, and I was surprised to see my cousin raise his hand to contribute answers. That's not something that I would have done as a first-timer.

With about 15 minutes left before heading over to "big church," the leader probably said something about how we should turn to the Bible for answers. I think. My cousin raised his hand, and said, "The Bible isn't real stuff; it's just made-up stories."

A lot happened in that moment. I realized where my cousin stood with respect to religion, when previously I was deluded that he and his family went to church at least somewhat regularly. I then realized that bringing him here may not have been such a good idea. I also became uncomfortable, because I knew that the leader would not respond to that well.

Here is how he responded:

Addressing the entire youth group, he said, "That is exactly the type of answer you will get from a non-believer." He then started making references to Thomas, the "doubting" disciple of Jesus.

My stomach turned. I was ashamed of the youth leader for publicly humiliating my cousin. Even though the young me was quite conservative, I even knew then that that was not the way one should handle that situation. As the youth leader was responding to my cousin, I kept thinking to myself, "No, no, no, please don't go there..."

I could tell that my cousin had been traumatized. In the main service, he was talking to my mom about it. He looked like he was about to cry. I don't know what all they talked about, but I do recall overhearing him ask her, "Who was Thomas?"

Did the youth leader somehow think that saying those things would win my cousin over? If that had happened to me, there is absolutely no way I would have ever returned to a church.