Three posts on LGBT stuff: "Gay Best Friend" (1)

I have issues with the whole "gay best friend" thing.

First of all, having a "gay best friend" is objectifying. Younger women are often super proud that they have someone that they can call a "gay best friend," and he is often used to increase the woman's social status. After all, every woman wants to have a "gay best friend"--a man that they can talk to about girl stuff without fear of any romantic attraction developing. In short, the gay best friend is a multi-use tool for the woman: useful for making other women jealous, useful for increasing her social status, and useful as a sounding board.

Second, "gay best friend" is a phrase that reinforces the differentiation from normal society that gay guys face all the time. The "gay best friend" has to constantly be clarified that he is the GAY best friend. Rather than holding the position of "best friend," the man is placed into a separate category that he can neatly slide into. His gayness is always emphasized, which effectively serves to continue differentiating him from the normal population.

Third, "gay best friend" reinforces stereotypes. Best friends are often best friends because they have a lot in common; a gay man often achieves the status of being "gay best friend" because he is a more effeminate man ("OMG that outfit is so cute on you!") and the woman feels that he is a safe person to discuss her thoughts and feelings with. Suppose a woman has an effeminate "gay best friend." Now suppose he was not as effeminate. In that case, he might never achieve the same emotional intimacy with her, and he might never have achieved the title "gay best friend." This implies that femininity of gay men is valued among women seeking a "gay best friend," which serves to reinforce stereotypes of gay men as effeminate.

Logic may have been a little shaky in the above points, but I hope the general concepts make sense. I had to pump this one out so I can get to writing the other two posts.